Absolute Johannes factotum
- SCP-9065 (?)
- The article describes SCP-9065 as a parasitic organism that looks exactly like a pair of light grey sweatpants. This creature attaches itself to a person and subtly influences them, making them want to wear it because it seems comfortable or stylish. As the person wears it longer, they become increasingly lethargic, socially anxious, and neglect their hygiene and responsibilities, eventually developing severe depression and suicidal thoughts. The "pants" then feed on the host's blood painlessly, causing them to weaken until they die, after which the pants detach and subtly influence others to acquire them, continuing the cycle. To contain it, SCP-9065 is kept in a non-airtight container away from other clothes and must be fed ten liters of human blood monthly to prevent its mind-altering abilities from expanding.SCP-9065 is a parasitic creature that appears identical to a pair of light grey sweatpants. This organism attaches itself to people, making them feel like the pants are comfortable or stylish, which leads them to wear it. Over time, the wearer becomes increasingly tired, avoids people, neglects their personal care, and develops severe depression with thoughts of worthlessness and suicide. During this stage, the "pants" painlessly drain the host's blood until they die, then detach and subtly influence another person to acquire them, restarting the cycle. To keep it contained, SCP-9065 is stored in a special container away from other clothes and must be fed ten liters of human blood once a month to prevent its mind-controlling effects from spreading.
- Robert Hanssen (?)
- Robert Hanssen was an American FBI agent who spied for the Soviet Union and Russia for 22 years, from 1979 to 2001, a betrayal described as "possibly the worst intelligence disaster in U.S. history". Driven by financial motives, he sold over $1.4 million worth of classified documents, including U.S. nuclear war strategies, military technology, and the identities of KGB agents working for the U.S., some of whom were executed. Hanssen operated anonymously, using aliases and dead drop sites to exchange information and receive payments. He was arrested in 2001 after leaving classified materials at a dead drop site, subsequently pleaded guilty to espionage to avoid the death penalty, and was sentenced to 15 consecutive life sentences, dying in prison in 2023.